Q & A

What do you actually DO?


What I "do," is to talk with you by phone usually once a week for a half hour. I listen intently and hopefully come to understand your view of the world. I am open to your thoughts and feelings. I attempt to be "with you," as you explore. I encourage you to seek your own answers. My suggestions include a range of possibilities. My opinion will be one among many from which you choose the best for your situation. I also offer tools and techniques that you may find helpful.

I tailor my actions to address your individual needs. I never attempt to squeeze you into a pre-determined coaching box. You are an individual and how I approach you is different from the way I will someone else.

That said, in general, my job is to help you discover what you really want and support you in getting it.

I am not the expert in your life, you are. This is both a frightening and empowering reality. With this in mind, my responsibility as your coach is to help you learn whether what you think you might want is what you really want and whether you are willing to do what you need to do in order to get what you really want.
Coaching is not a mysterious process, but few of us look at our desires or needs in this way. So, it might seem quite amazing to you. And what starts out to be a simple look at a specific aspect of your life may expand to include more of your life than you can now imagine.

At the same time, I am a bit different from most coaches. For one thing, I do not consider myself a holistic coach whose interest is in long-term, deep life changes. My work focuses on where you are today, where you want to go and taking actions to get there.

I use tools from a wide range of helpful human interactions based on my experience including teaching and mentoring. Some of what I do might be considered teaching or mentoring. Your issue is unique to you and I believe by using aspects of differing disciplines, I can best meet your personal needs.

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What is it like to coach with you?


I know this might seem odd, but some of the words my clients have used to describe coaching with me include:

  • Fun
  • Fascinating
  • Enjoyable
  • Exciting
  • Inspiring
  • Creative

I strive to make coaching a positive, uplifting and yes, fun, experience. Unlike therapy, we don’t deal with deep emotions. I think of coaching with me as play. We’ll discuss your challenge, then you will “try on” different ways to dealing with it.

Sure, I’ll make suggestions; give you ideas based on both my thinking and experience. But it’s up to you to decide whether or not to give them a whirl.

Either way, it’s fine with me.

One of the things that makes this possible is that fact that I do not judge you. I don’t “diagnose” you or your problem or attempt to fit you into a box. I’m a creative person and I know one size does not fit all. I don’t shy away from making wild suggestions. I do not follow any one coaching model, but attempt at all times, to see you as an individual. I am relaxed and always look forward to talking with my clients. Many of them say that coaching with me is like talking with a wise friend, only better because I have no agenda and no vested interest in the outcome. They find me easy to talk with and connect with and that helps to make the coaching experience a great one.

I will never insist or order you to do anything. However, I will encourage you to go beyond your comfort zone to the place where change most often occurs.

Beyond talking, I may ask you to try a variety of tools. If you are a visual person, for instance, I might suggest that you get a bulletin board or white board and put it above your computer. On the board, you'll want to post reminders, words, matrices and other motivators that you create. I might ask if you'd like to keep a journal over the course of our work together. You might want to take some quizzes to clarify your thinking. The coaching experience can be a lot of fun if you open yourself up to these kinds of experiences.


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What does coaching with you cost?


Whether you choose ongoing or periodic coaching with me, the charge is $25 per 30 minute phone session.

You may choose how many sessions per month you want. Most people like coaching once a week, at least at the beginning. Others may work on a challenge for a few sessions, then come back later, when another issue presents itself. Whatever configuration will work for you is fine and if you change your mind about frequency once we start working together, that's OK too.

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How do I pay?


Payment for ongoing clients is made prior to the first in a series of four half-hour appointments by credit card only. You will receive notification by e-mail when payment has been charged to your credit card.

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Why is coaching with you so inexpensive? Most coaches charge at least twice that much.


While coaching for me is a business, it really is more of a calling. At an age when many people are thinking of retirement, I wanted to do something to make a difference in people’s lives. I was not interested in building an empire or appearing on Oprah or working primarily with those who are already at their financial peak and can afford to pay two, three or even a dozen times more than I charge.

Because I believe so strongly in coaching, I want to make it accessible to as many people as possible. As a result, in part I believe, because of the low fees, my coaching business is as full as I want it.

Many life or personal coaches struggle financially. It is frankly difficult to make a great living doing only one-on-one coaching. (Business coaches tend to be the exception.) Coaches understandably spend a lot of time in marketing activities, group coaching, selling materials etc. to support themselves. For me, coaching one-on-one is my primary joy so having many clients, even though this is not the most lucrative (and some would say sensible) way to go, works perfectly for me.
If you have any questions about pricing, please contact me.


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Do you specialize in any particular type of client or problem?


I offer coaching for life. In other words, regardless of what part of your life you seek to improve, I will work to help you. Clients bring all sorts of issues to me. Some have to do with building a business and others with building their lives. In every case, clients need or want something to change. What ends up changing is the client.

Although I’ve never sought out a niche, I do have more experience with some types of clients than others. Here are the types of people and issues I’ve worked with extensively:

  • Aspiring entrepreneurs
  • People working from home, particularly moms
  • Aspiring and professional writers
  • People contemplating job changes
  • People wanting to move up inside a company
  • People who are feeling overwhelmed
  • People who want something different in life but aren’t sure what that is or how to get it
  • People approaching change points in life, for instance, children leaving home, returning to school, retirement, recovering from an illness
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What is my role as a client?


I will ask you to commit to several things. Your most important responsibility is to commit to change. Under the best of circumstances, change is difficult. If it were not, you would have already done what you need to in order to be living the life you want.

Often clients start out with a surge of enthusiasm. The first few weeks or even the first month, things move along like gang busters. Just as often, clients hit a plateau or even slip back or give up. This is the reason it is important for you to be fully invested in and committed to your intention(s). The intention(s) should align with your values and you must be willing to go through the rough patches. As much as I might like to relieve you of the pain of change, I cannot do that and in any case, what would you learn from it?

A second commitment is time. In addition to the half hour calls, I will likely ask that you take time each week to do some activity connected with our discussion. Coaching does not just happen when we are on the phone together. It is a process that requires (in order to be successful), that you "try on" different ways of being. Committing to some extra time each week will allow you to meet your goal(s) faster.

Another commitment I will ask of you is that you be honest with me. Realizing that trust is a two-way street and it may take some time for you to feel comfortable with me, I am willing to wait. However, if I ask you a question, I expect an honest reply, even if that response is, "I'm not comfortable discussing that right now."
The third commitment is to the process itself. Believe that what we will do together will prove helpful to you. If together we clarify what you want, come up with means to change and you follow through, success is inevitable.


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How should I prepare for coaching?


Once we agree on a coaching commitment, I will send you materials for you to use in thinking about coaching. I'll ask you how you prefer to be coached, specifics about what challenges may stop you from accomplishing what you say you want and other questions meant to stimulate your thinking and help me get to know your preferences. The aim of this information exchange is for us to build an individualized working relationship. However, if you are not comfortable filling out this type of form, that's fine. I leave it up to you.

In the time between sessions you might want to jot down questions or comments that come up for you. And be sure to raise them on the next call. I never give an assignment without getting your buy in. So my expectation is that between calls, you will complete them. If you can't for some reason, we'll discuss that on the next call.


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How much time each week will I need to put aside for coaching?


Coaching calls last for one half hour unless we've made other arrangements. But if you want to get the most from coaching, you will want to consider setting aside at least another half hour to 45 minutes for each call you make to me. During this time, I encourage you not only to complete mutually agreed upon assignments, but to spend time thinking about them and come up with questions or comments to discuss with me. Not only will you find that you enjoy this time, but it will ensure that every moment of our calls is useful to you.

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How will I get the most from coaching?


There are a number of things you can do to ensure that your coaching experience is a great one:


1. Be prepared to work. Change is hard or we'd have no trouble doing it. Coaching is not about the status quo. It's about reaching into the unknown and being willing to walk there in order to accomplish what you want. Prepare yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.

2. Be prepared to be honest. In the coaching relationship, I am not judging you. I want what you want. But in order to help you, I need to know who you are, what you are thinking and feeling not just about yourself, but about the coaching relationship. I will be kindly honest with you and expect the same in return.

3. Be open. One reason you haven't already gotten what you want is because you may believe there is only one way to get there. You've tried that and it hasn't worked. The fact is there are many, many ways to solve problems and meet challenges. I ask that you be open to the possibilities. "Yes, but..." is a phrase I hope you will delete from your vocabulary. You might want to substitute something like..."That's interesting. Let me think about it."
4. Come prepared. It might be hard for you to imagine accomplishing much in a half hour. But if we are both prepared, magic can happen in almost no time. Being prepared means being ready to get into the nitty gritty. You might want to prepare for each call by taking 10 minutes to close your eyes, relax and open yourself for what is to come.

5. Do what we agree on. This might be an assignment or simply considering some ideas. Whatever it is, we will set the expectations together. If you agree to do it, be sure you do. We all have emergencies that come up, but consistently avoiding doing what you have agreed to do may be a reason to call a halt to our relationship.

6. Focus. Because our time together is limited, we both need to stay on track. It's so easy to go off on tangents and get into areas that are not going to help you get where you want to go. I will let you know when I think we're headed off into the sunset. I will ask your permission to interrupt in order to get back on course. Please do not consider this as rude on my part. It is my way of ensuring you are getting what you need.

7. Respect yourself. Know that you are involved in a coaching relationship in order to improve your life. You are doing the best you can at all times. Avoid berating yourself because your progress is slower than you would wish or because you are making mistakes. You're human. Frankly, I wouldn't want to coach you if you were not.


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How do I know you can help me?


I certainly hope and believe I can help most people. But coaching is a mutual activity that is based on forming a relationship in which change can be supported. Hopefully we are both intuitive enough to quickly recognize a lack of connection that could preclude my ability to help you reach your goals.

One thing you should know about me is that I pledge to be honest with you. If I believe that I cannot help you, I will be happy to refer you to someone I think may be a better fit. I will only work within the scope of my competencies. If I believe or you believe after speaking with me or after we've coached together for a period of time, that I am not helping, I suggest you do a Donald Trump and say, "You're fired!" Well, I hope you'll be a little more diplomatic, but you get the idea. This is your time, and your money and it is up to you to let me know that you are getting what you need.


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How confidential is coaching?


I respect your right to privacy and pledge to never disclose anything about our relationship without your consent. However, I also must comply with any federal or state laws such as those requiring the release of confidential information by the courts. Therefore, it is important for you to understand that coaching calls are confidential with in the limits of the law. For more information, please see Section 4 of the International Association of Coaches Ethical Principles. If you have questions about confidentiality in our relationship, please contact me.


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What if we do the complimentary consultation and we don't "click?"


Hey, life's like that sometimes. If you have a complimentary consultation, you are under absolutely no obligation to continue. There are many reasons you may choose not to. If, however, I said or did something during the call that turned you off, I would really appreciate it if you would tell me. That's how I will continue to grow as a coach. If you request it, I will be happy to refer you to another coach or professional who might better serve your needs.


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What if I don't like coaching?


Personally I can't imagine such a thing, but if that should happen, you simply let me know that it's not working and we will part ways. I hope, however, that before it gets to that point, you will let me know that you're not happy. By letting me know about your discomfort at the beginning, we may be able to correct whatever it is that's getting in the way so you can benefit from the coaching experience.


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How does coaching with you end?


Unlike many coaches, I prefer short-term coaching. Being a straight-forward person who takes aim at an issue, deals with it and moves on, I coach with this in mind. The largest percentage of my clients work with me for about three months (on a weekly basis).

Because my intention is to empower clients to learn from their coaching experience, I prefer that once we’ve dealt with a particular issue, the client takes what she has learned and applies it to other challenges on her own. I do not want my clients to depend on me. I want them to discover their strengths, learn some useful techniques and use them to get what they need.

On the other hand, I encourage all clients to call on me whenever they want. Many return for “tune-ups” periodically and that’s great.
In a nutshell, it is up to my clients to decide when they are ready to leave. I believe in you and your choices. If I think that nothing is being accomplished by your staying on, then I will raise that with you and we’ll talk about it. But it is always my hope that you will easily conclude when the time is right, that you will leave when you are ready. Whenever that is, I will be ready too.

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What's the difference between counseling or therapy and coaching?


Rather than attempt to answer this question, I'm going to direct you to the experts to explain what it is they do. You can read about the various forms of counseling at the American Counseling Association and about therapy at the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.

As for coaching, this is a relatively new discipline and I can tell you there is an ongoing conversation going as to the definitive definition of a coach and exactly what being a coach entails. So rather than get mired in a semantic discussion, I hope you will read the Q&A on my site and also check out My Ethical Standards. From looking at these, I hope you'll get a pretty good idea about what it is I do. If you still have questions, please let me know.

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Do you only coach by phone?


I only coach by phone. This allows me to coach people all over the world from my home office and is one reason I charge so little for the calls. My overhead is very low.

However, I'm thinking about creating some group coaching adventures where a bunch of my clients will get together for a long weekend, have a great time and experience group coaching as well. Watch the site for details.

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